Reflection…. Yesterday and Today

 

 

 

There are many days that just blend one into another.  I don’t like those type of days.  You forget it’s Tuesday and before you know it, it’s Saturday.  Why do we think that we will keep ourselves organized enough to know what day of the week it is?

Today feels like Saturday and I know it is only Wednesday.  Lot’s of memories are flooding my mind with the “big” day coming tomorrow.  I wanted to sleep in but, at my age, the bathroom  was calling my name and, well, I am in a routine of getting up before six – a.m. that is.

It was raining when I got up and  the neighborhood turkeys were at the bird feeder already.  No chicks with them so I am assuming they are already empty nesting or they didn’t make it.  It must have rained a bit over night as the screened in porch floor was wet.

I enjoy sitting in the peace and quiet that early in the morning.  I do, however, check a few things off my phone – mostly nonsense that comes through.  The weather 32 years ago was not like this at all.  It was a “normal” summer day and no clouds.  The hustle and bustle had already started, but I don’t remember much about that day – just the weather.

I have changed and so have the times.  I have become more reflective and conscious of what is going on and what is happening.  I am just not as vocal as some people are – well, anymore.  Ha! You say!  Yes, I was one of those talkative type of people and still like to talk, when the time is right.  I have learned to listen and be more “in” tune with what you are telling me through your words and body language.

You ever think about that?  What does your body say?  What do your eyes, brows, and cheeks share?

We are not all poker faced, glazed over, cement statues.  You and I give more than we know and you know I know!

As I was reflecting – tomorrow will be our 32nd anniversary and our 34th year together.  Wow!  No, it hasn’t been all roses and daffodils, but it has been worth the journey together.  Without my hubby days wouldn’t be worth waking up to and the journey wouldn’t be as adventurous.  I know we all want that in a strong relationship – fun, exciting, loving, spontaneous, laughing kind of relationship.

If I could do just one tiny thing over again…… you will never guess.  I would make that day a little less hectic, less over the top (yes, it was), more meaningful, easier on the checkbook, and above all simple!

Take the time today and every day to make it simple.

Whatever you do……Don’t

 

Whatever you do…. DON’T spend time away from a website that you want to revisit after several months then try to get back into it!

Today I finished my 8-5 job and came home to being on vacation for the next eight days!  What a relief after working for the last year and not taking much of any time off!

This is where I got stuck.  I spent the last 20 minutes visiting a couple of websites trying to get back into my blog!  I know…. many of you have waited for me to write again.  Here I am.

Oh, you thought it would be something really profound and you would want to read it and take a little nugget or two of knowledge away from it – Well, I hope you took one for sure!

I really missed sending you something the last few months.  I have been busy with a job change, shorter work day hours, and a little longer commute.  Graduation of our oldest granddaughter,  health of some family members, adjusting to still being here without Dave (that won’t change for a while), and yard work with the dawn of spring and now summer, have all taken their times this year.

Keeping up with the computer will need some precious sleep time being lost – we all do that on occasion.  I really want to share as much of my thoughts, and hopefully yours too, as I can without too much time lost between blog posts.

The winds of change have certainly been on my mind for me, my family and friends.  We have lost some and gained some.  I am thankful for those that I have been lucky enough to have known.  I am thankful for the new ones I get to know!

No one cannot change who they are, but they can change how to think, feel, act, work, and play.  I love being me.  That is why, if you know me, you will understand how come it took so long to get back to this beautiful blog thing!

Whatever you do, believe in what you are capable of doing, DON’T ever give up.  I can say that I have given up on too many things instead of pushing forward to see the doors of opportunity waiting for me.  This is one of them.

Looking forward to hearing from you!  Happy Summer from ME!

 

 

 

Spring Has Sprung and Yes, Baby It’s Chilly Outside

November 11, 2016

 

Spring has sprung no matter where you live.  It is all about the attitude and not about the weather.  That is my philosophy.  We all have ideas about when spring will show – if it is here or not.  Yes, it’s chilly outside.

If you did not see my Facebook post from Sunday, you obviously don’t know how I feel about seeing the open water.  It was time to get out with the kayak.  I should really name it so that it can always be a part of me, well, it will be anyway.  I have talked about getting one for the one and half years we have been on the lake.  My family gifted me one for my big 5-0 in November!

Yes, I spent time on the lake with the kayak.  No snow or ice either.  Just me and the kayak.  Silently sliding off the small sandy beach I made my way off to the southeast along the shoreline to see what my neighbors were up to.  Not much considering it is still early for lake people opening their cabins.

There was one dock that snuck its way into the water.  Fishing season is a ways away but, it was kind of eerie seeing one in the water already.  I have four neighbors that live on the lake all year round.  It was pretty quiet.

I slowly glided, but not quiet enough, near a flock of mergansers that have made their way to the open water this spring.  They are flighty birds.  Geese aren’t near as spooked, but none the less, didn’t let me get much closer.  They will get braver when they want share the shoreline near our dock!

I made my way back by the house and to the west where paddles around land that juts out and the lake goes back into a small slew like area.  It still has nice, quiet open water.  The geese and ducks have found there homes for nests back there.  The wind wasn’t near as noticeable.  It really wasn’t that windy.  The lake takes on a more glass like appearance over there.

When you lift the paddles and let the kayak glide, you can hear everything.  The turkeys are calling in the distance on the farmland that surrounds our homes.  You can hear the wings of the ducks and geese when they fly over head.  My eyes are constantly scanning for anything I haven’t seen this winter.

There he goes.  As I round the land into the slew, he silently lifts himself up and takes off – a blue heron.  He showed up since spring has arrived and doesn’t seem to make friends easily.  Blue herons are shoreline hunters.  I have seen them on our dock looking out into the water for food.

Heading back, I spied a hawk in a tree high in the branches.  I did not see the eagles that flew around this morning.  We are so blessed living in a country that allows us to do these things without a thought.  This was an opportunity being one with nature.  Forget about everything going on in my life.

I cannot wait to go again.  I knew this would be the exact thing I would enjoy.  I did not want to come in – I went out twice!  I do know that when I go next time, I will pack a lunch or take a snack, bring my camera and my phone, and come in when I think I hear my name being called because it’s dinner or supper time!

 

How Will Your Garden Grow?

 

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We are planning a garden this year.  Mom and dad have had one for years at the Gilfillan Estate, where they lived for 13 years, and we haven’t done anything at the lake yet.  How will my garden grow this year?

We have gotten to know our neighbors and one of them offered a part of his massive lawn for us to use as long as he gets to partake in the fruits of our labor.  I say that is a win, win!  He thought it would be good to “keep the old man busy” in the summer.  Like my dad needs anymore to keep busy with.  It will be more like keeping Tammy busy!

I have actually relished the thought of being one with the earth – planting and watering the seeds/plants and pulling the weeds that will love the sun as much as our garden plants will.

My list has the common items like tomatoes, carrots, and onions.  I really want to try some new things like cauliflower and sunflowers.  My family never planted those nor did we grow eggplants or acorn squash.  We probably won’t do eggplants but I think I will try sweet potatoes.  You can read up on how to do anything on the internet!

Did you know you can start sweet potatoes in the house by cutting them into pieces and keeping them watered and in the sun.  They will sprout eyes.  I can’t wait to try this.

When I was growing up, we had lots of gardens through the years.  I think at one point we had three after we moved to town.  Raising six kids required lots of food – canning and freezing.  We spent time weeding them, but I think we ate more of it!

I think back about that time and can’t imagine all the work that went into feeding our family of eight!  Wow.  Just the thought of buying all that food now gives me the nerves.

Going back to the natural way of growing our own food makes me feel good.  The natural flavors of food you grew up on – the way the earth takes care of the seeds planted into it, the plants rising to the light of the sun, the rain feeding them to ripeness – make it well work the time you spend caring and weeding then harvesting it in the fall.

What will you grown in your garden this year?  Filling the garden with things I grew up eating, tastes I have learned to like, and acquired tastes that, I hope, will grow in my new garden, is an exciting thought.

Remember all the things we have talked about growing so far this year – our minds, our relationships, our jobs.  This will be a chance to work on oneness with nature.  Maybe it will be my meditation time.  It will test my patience until the new shoots poke through the black dirt.  Positivity will radiate as I see the fruits of my labor – harvesting for winter meals.  I will work on meditation in the garden to become more mindful of the here and now.

How will your garden grow this year?

Free Time vs Time Zappers?

 

Image result for free pictures of time

What is your time zapper?  What do you do in your free time?  We all have things we should do versus what we actually do.

I mean, really, what is it that makes time just fly by for you?  Is it daydreaming?  Maybe you like to play games?  Do you play computer games or games on your phone?  I know some people who are big into politics.  Headlines all day long!  Does that get you every time?  Maybe it’s that damned Facebook?!  What about work?  This is a big one.  Why?

Why do we let those things take over our lives and then we don’t get to doing the things we really need to?  Part of it is the constant need to know.  What do you really need to know that you can’t catch up with five minutes of news or Facebook?

I am guilty too.  I find myself staring into the screen thinking that there is just that one thing I want to see or read or hear.  I love knowing what everyone is doing.  We are curious by nature.  When was the last time you went without your phone?  How about the computer?  What about the television or radio?

My time zapper is really myself.  Yep, you read it.  I can find a million things to do besides what I should do.  I might read some article – yep, Facebook.  Maybe improving my skills – not so bad, right – by listening to a Podcast or Ted Talk.  Maybe there is a YouTube video that has some great instruction or insight about what I want to know.

When was the last time you just sat down and read a book of fiction?  How about the last time you went through dinner and didn’t check your phone for an email or text message?  Have you taken a walk and realized that you are in the moment?

I did a couple of those things this last weekend.  Yes, I did visit Facebook and I also played games, but I made it through some of those times without my phone.   Last week I went without my phone all day at work!  A whole 12 hours without it!  Wow – how did I manage?

I will tell you how.  I visited with coworkers, went for a walk around the store,  and I read the newspaper.  We can all do that.  It is liberating to feel that you really don’t have to have your phone or computer with you all day long.

My time zapper can always find a way into my life.  I need to get my life away from my time zapper.  I am so excited to get in the kayak.  The first weekend in April sounds promising.  The lake will be open soon and the hubby will be home.  The spring cleanup will begin that weekend too!

Spring will be a time to work on being one with the outdoors again.  Please take the time to share what you are doing though.  We all like to “keep” up with you.  Be more mindful of the time you use your computer or phone.  It is difficult to work a business or keep in touch with families without them.  I for one will be sharing things with you because I know how much some of you enjoy the gifts that nature provides.

Good Ol’ Days in My Mind

 

When you think of the Good Ol’ Days, what memories pop into your head?  Do you think of the days when you were young?  How about days when we had to get up to change the channel on the television?  Maybe you think of times when you could milk cows, butcher chickens, collect eggs, hand crank the ice cream bucket, bake bread, or tend a garden.

Yes, these are all Good Ol’ Days.  I think of those days when we would walk across the street to the neighbors for a short visit, take a walk without ear buds in, ride bike with the kids in the neighborhood to the park.

Simple times.  No technology to keep our minds racing and our hands busy.  The television or radio played if we wanted to keep up to date on the news – like I really want to hear/see it all right now.  Sitting on the front step at night because we could actually see the bright lights of the moon and stars.

Good Ol’ Days meant  bean walking for $3.50 an hour or walking the corn fields for the summer to make money.  We didn’t have a swimming pool to go to or a car to drive around.  We played kick the can in the park until the ten o’clock whistle blew – sometimes later if we could get by with it.

We played football on the front yard of the school until we tore it up and had to find another spot – it was no longer fun then.  Those were Good Ol’ Days.  We couldn’t sit in front of the television or play computer games – board games were our thing.

Rainy days and snow days were times we would hunker down all day with a game of Monopoly or cards.  Our parents made us go outside when we could and get some fresh air.  We didn’t get to say no.  We were creative – played our instruments, listened to the Top 40 countdown, recorded songs off the radio on to a cassette, went to the library, read books, wrote poems, and talked on the phone that hung on the wall in the house!

Some of you have  better Good Ol’ Days – these are mine.  Share what memories you have of those days – the memories in your mind.  I love going back and thinking how much easier our life was……or was it?

 

 

 

 

Words and Thoughts, Subconsciously Thinking

Image result for Thought Clip Art Free

 

 

If you are like me, which I am sure you will relate.  Thoughts have a way of growing into Words.

It happens when we least expect it.  Sneaking up on you, just when you Thought every thing was good. Taken by surprise, subconsciously, by your own Thoughts and Words, it changes the day.

I left for work that morning feeling pretty good.  Things were right on schedule.  My coworker and I share an hour ride anything will pop up in our conversations.

I don’t even remember how my mind went from one thing to another.   I just spit it out – I really miss my sister.

I do remember thinking how my mornings were usually the toughest – especially the first few months into the new year, after she passed away.  The drive to work was always the hardest.

I know I’ve mentioned before that the smiles come more often as the memories float through my mind.  This has become true for me.

That day, last week, bothered me.  Reflecting on it, I felt like crying on and off most of the day.  It really didn’t go away.

Apologies to my coworker were met with sympathy and few Words – which was fine as it completely took her off guard.

Being overwhelmed with feelings, I couldn’t say where it came from.  It was just a normal day, normal routine, and normal conversation.

I know my sister is with me, watching over us, sharing in our joys and pains as we, someday, will join her.

I Thought about why it may have happened.  I really couldn’t put my finger on it.  I realized, after thinking through the past couple of weeks, why.

Two weekends ago, I spent time with my husband.  We were shopping and ran into an old coworker’s dad  – who I made small talk with.  He mentioned – and I knew – how he had lost two of his daughters in the same accident.  It was the anniversary of their death.

I casually said that I lost my sister a year and a half ago.  His comment to me was – it’s nothing compared to losing a daughter.  Oh, okay.

To whom does it compare?!  It doesn’t matter the relationship.  My brother-in-law lost his wife,  my mother and father lost their daughter, and I lost my sister.  Really, there’s a comparison?

My friend lost her husband, does that mean it was better or worse.  Of course not.

Sticking in the back of my mind, that conversation sat and slowly  processed into a Thought and Words.  I do a lot of thinking and realized that maybe, just maybe, that was the reason for my sudden outburst.

Our brains are hard-wired to figure out problems.  They are constantly on the look out for solutions or opportunities to change something.  Was this all in my head?  Did I really need to figure out that there wasn’t a comparison?  Again, OF COURSE NOT!  It just needed to prove that we all go through the pain of losing someone and each is as unique as we are.

This is not profound!  It is, however, why we do what we do when we do it!  Our Thoughts and Words subconsciously find a way to spill forward when we really need them to.

I needed that to happen – yes, I did.  It was just the right time and place to have my outburst.  I hope you have one when you least expect it.  We are human and, after all, our mind knows Thoughts and Words can change any moment.

 

Sticky, Holding it Together, Glue

Image result for free pictures of glue

Wait…  Sticky, holding together, Glue.  What are we going to discuss today?  I will tell you – it’s not exactly the physical glue in the bottle.

 

I  was having a conversation with a family member the other day about the way things have gone in their household.  You can all relate to how things go sometimes – sons start to drive, parents worry, dad is a workaholic, sister is in every sport possible, chores pile up, lawn needs mowing, dental appointments scheduled, and mom works full-time.  They were feeling defeated, overwhelmed, and weak.

 

We want strong.  Who would want to show weakness?  What are our weaknesses?  Things that make us want to cry, puke, and curl up in a ball are a few things that come to mind.  It’s normal to worry about parenting and being an adult (adulting is the new term that is not officially in the dictionary – it will be).

 

When things change and we are scared or worried, we hate showing those feelings.  We think that we are weak and going to fall apart.  Therefore, someone needs to be the Glue!  I love to think we know someone – most often ourselves – that is the Glue to our family.

 

In this conversation, I told them – You are the Glue.  You can hold it together and make it work, change things, do what needs to be done to keep things from falling apart.  We don’t always want to be the Glue.  I would like someone else to put things back together sometimes.

 

Sometimes it holds for a little while – unless its super Glue!  That stuff can withstand a lot!  Elmer’s Glue may need to be touched up a little once in a while.  That’s ok.  Our pieces may need reconstruction and maybe put back together again because they broke again.

 

But, someone has to stay strong, to be the Glue to keep it together so that when things do come crashing down – someone will catch whatever it is that needs catching.  No cuts or broken bones – just a few bumps and bruises.  We learn, we change, we reflect and we move on.

 

Keep a few bottles handy – You may need to refill.

 

 

 

 

Another Friend

Image result for free pictures of the word friend

I write this today, but it happened  last week.  It is not insightful nor dramatic nor about me, just a small tribute to someone I knew and didn’t get to know.  I guess we all have those people.  I have been keeping a dialogue journal and this is my record of that day…….

 

February 23,2017

Today my Friend passed away.  She wasn’t a close Friend, but, none the less she was a Friend.  We spent a few years together in high school.  We played sports and had a few classes together.  We did not spend personal time together, nor did we keep in touch, but, she was still my Friend.

 

I have thought of her often after I heard about her illness.  I could only imagine how it was.  I cannot speculate as I have had enough reality of my own experiences.  I do know she spent her last days at home.  Home – where she spent Christmases, birthdays, and family time.

 

Yes, she even took care of her dad.  I know that when she gets where she is going he will meet her with open arms.  They were two peas in a pod so many years ago.  I enjoyed knowing both of them.  To those of you who helped her… God bless you.

 

I have not much else to say, except – she was my Friend.

Are You a Little Behind, Too?

Hourglass at sunset

 

Oh, how I enjoy my weekends!  I enjoy them even more when the hubby is home!  It gets crazy, like I said last week, but we have fun while we get stuff done.  So, therefore, I am Behind.  I was Behind last week going in.

 

I have fallen Behind through no one’s fault but my own.  What about you?  Are you right on schedule?  Did you get everything done that you needed to?  I like to think that I got the important stuff done, at least.  Those things that can never be left by the way side or they will  mountains – like laundry, dishes, cleaning.   You get the meaning.

 

Last week was different for me.  Different hours present different opportunities to do things in a different way.  I get am up with the sun and come home with it just going down.  I still have daylight when I get home.  It will only get better as the seasons change.

 

So, you can only imagine how things will get better, right?  Spring leads to summer and that means outside all the time!  Like I said earlier, I don’t watch much television – now I have FREE NBA League Pass on because, well it’s FREE and there really isn’t much else on.   Yes, I am a little Behind on doing some blogging.  It’s ok.  I hope you don’t mind that life got in the way.

 

What got in your way of getting it all done?  I have been Behind before and I always caught up.  It may not have been the easiest way, but I found ways to do it.  You probably will too.  We need to catch our breath and let it go some days.  We are human, after all!

 

I think we all need to step back – behind – and let life take us where we least expect it.  We can’t possibly predict everything in our lives.   I was told by a friend –  we are not supposed to get it all done.  We need  to leave some things undone.

 

I am happy that my little sister left things undone and was Behind.  I was able to have her near me while getting some of her things done that she wanted to give to others.  She was behind, she knew it, and I was grateful for that.

 

Don’t get it all done.  Behind is just temporary.  Behind is making memories.  Behind will catch up.